How Do You Feel About Wax Museums?

July 6, 2018

Ever been to a wax museum? How did you feel when you were in there? I find them fascinating. Some people love them. Some people find them creepy and want nothing to do with them. Wax museums seem to be emotional one way or another to nearly everyone.

There are some pretty good ones out there, and there are some not so good. Some figures are so well done you’d swear they’re gonna blink and walk off at any moment. Others are so poorly done you’re not really sure who they are supposed to be. Many are historic, but some of the best are the most contemporary. I just saw a wax figure of Kim Jung Un and it was spot-on, right down to that weirdo haircut of his. Where’d he get that…Cost Cutters?

What is it that gives us the creeps? What is it that draws us to them? Some of my friends won’t go because they say the figures seem like live dead people and they don’t want to see that. I was just in Saint Louis in the Laclede’s Landing area just north of the arch. They have a five story wax museum there that’s in a building that seems like an old warehouse.

They had Kim, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, Jesus and the disciples at the last supper, Neil Armstrong on the moon, Michael Jackson, Elvis, Patrick Swayze, all the most well-known former presidents, Martin Luther King, Michael Jordan, Lara Croft, Spiderman, Superman, Babe Ruth, Bill Gates, Morgan Freeman, Julia Roberts, Elizabeth Taylor, Mr. Spock, Marilyn Monroe, Johnny Depp, Harrison Ford, Batman and many more.

But the most realistic, and therefore rather creepy to me, was Dwayne, the Rock, Johnson. I’ve included a picture here. I got right up close to his face, and I swore it was really him. I even did one of those things where I watched his chest for a few minutes to see if I could catch him breathing. How in the world do they do that facial hair? Every whisker is real hair. It’s almost unbelievable.

If those aren’t creepy enough for you, they have one floor that they call the Hall of Horror. It has walking dead, alien creatures, bloody characters, vampires….well, you get the idea. That part was more like being in a Halloween haunted house and didn’t do that much for me, but I have to admit it was very well done.

So, if you’re ever in St. Louis, down by the Arch, go over to 720 North 2nd Street to the wax museum. The weather was incredibly hot when I was in town and I thought this place would be in big trouble if the air conditioner went down. Definitely not a place where they want melting. Dolly Parton alone would flood the place.

Another great wax museum that impressed me was in Keystone, South Dakota, at the foot of Mount Rushmore. It’s all U.S. Presidents, in order. Most are really good, especially the one of LBJ being sworn in as President of the United States on Air Force One, with Lady Bird and Jackie Kennedy standing at his side, Jackie still in her blood stained pink dress. Very sobering.

Frequently at these places you hear someone say, “Oh, he looks so natural.” Maybe that’s part of why we get the creeps, because you sometimes hear the same thing at visitations.

By the way, I know that the picture of me with Superman can be confusing. Just for clarity, that’s me on the left.